His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize