dude i'm inner monologue high
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
