You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
