Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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