@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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