So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
