Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
