I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
