I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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