Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
