Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
