oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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