After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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