Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
