apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
