I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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