this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
