We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
