Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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