that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
