I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
