Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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