so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
