well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It was confusing and full of hummus
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
