Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
