she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i've created a new STD.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
