Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
