get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
