now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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