Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
