summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
