Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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