I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
