Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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