when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
