Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
