shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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