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So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
don't judge my taste in strippers
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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