I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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