just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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