Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
