OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
