do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
