do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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