Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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