Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
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