i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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