I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
