My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
