I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
