I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
