windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
