how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I want is dick and wine.
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