I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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