I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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