I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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