Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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