I love black thongs
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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