Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize