we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
