when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
