So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
