you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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