i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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