They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
