bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
