I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
