she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
