My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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