I CAN MOONWALK!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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