Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
