I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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