The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
