wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
