Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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